Thursday, August 10, 2006


10 August 2006

For a couple of months, I've been experiencing what most of us have gone through - whether we admit it or not - a really down & out feeling that's been tagged by the pharmasuetical companies as depression. Rather than latch on to that tag (which would probably result in screaming down the streets in search of the latest antidepressent), I would much prefer to think of it as a semi-pause in the process of living.

Everything in life has an opposite - there's life and there's death - no, come to think of it, as a Christian - there isn't death other than death of the life we now know - but then I digress.
Okay - another tact. There's good and there's bad...well, I think you get the idea. Going down road (which I admit, sometimes it's a really rough ride), you can either choose to live - or choose that semi-pause. And I chose to dwell for too long in the semi-pause.

Everything - and I mean everything - was subject to a short fuse and a really bad reception. I don't think I need to state the obvious - it was wearing thin.

Now I am a big believer in there-is-no-such-thing-as-coincidence. You can call it whatever you like - but I call these revelations a nudge from the Holy Spirit. Christian or not, we all have our failings - and I was experiencing lows like I never have had before. Okay - so maybe that last statement is slightly exaggerated.

Okay - back to the nudge. While feeling particularly low - and to be precise, it was just at the beginning of this week - I felt the nudge. Blessings. Blessings. Blessings.

That word was coming out of somewhere - and then I proceeded to argue. Ever seen someone argue with what appears to be themself? Quite amusing, I'm sure. Blessings? You have got to be kidding. I have just received yet ANOTHER tasking at work...I've developed occular migraines...I have a ganglion cyst next to my wrist bone that hurts like heck...and the list grew and grew and grew. Let me give you all a simple piece of advice: Do not waste your breath arguing with the Holy Spirit. It's one big waste of time. You can't win - you can't even call it a draw. For every argument I presented, it went from Blessings to finally - What About Those Blessings.

Next thing I knew, out came the pen and paper and the blessings flew out left and right. Rather simplistic, I know. Finally, the list was complete - at least for that particular moment in time - and after reading the list, I felt better. No - not just better - but alive and the semi-pause was gone. Such a simple list!

I have a husband who pats my knee and says "I love you" - even when I'm at my worst
We have a daughter and son who each found their soul mate, married and gave us the biggest gift ever: grandchildren!
Both my husband & I bought bicycles and when we go out for a ride, I feel like I'm a teenager again
I live in a one bedroom apartment with my beloved and from the living room, we have a spectacular view of the sun rising view of the sun rising
I have a family that will always be there for me
I have a job that allows me to take off even if it's spur of the moment (okay, so maybe not if there's this huge suspense looming and I need to get it taken care of...)
I have produced a document or two that others use as a benchmark
I can afford to eat out periodically (as my weight can testify...)
I work with people who admit I'm not bad to have around (especially when I take a detour to the donut shop on the way in to work)

And there were a few other items on the list, but in the interest of preserving what dignity I have left, I think I will skip sharing those....

So when you allow life to present you with a semi-pause and you find yourself thinking gray skies when it's absolutely beautiful outside - BLESSINGS. Count them every day if you have to.

Maybe you'll only do it once - but maybe it'll be enough. Just frame those words, okay?


Monday, August 07, 2006

Quilts and Grandchildren

7 August 2006

On our way to spend Saturday evening with husband's parents, we stopped by for a short visit with our daughter, son-in-law & baby granddaughter. By a short visit, that means anything less than 8 hours. Rheya is growing so quickly and it's a joy to see her when we can (which is not enough). We have a wonderful family - and to be able to be part of that family is more than joy itself.

My son-in-law calls me "mom #2". You cannot imagine the thrill I feel each time I hear it. He probably is unaware of just how much those three words mean to me. I can see that he makes our daughter happy and that he's a good dad, a good provider ... and that's all I need to know.

And our daughter - she's a stay-at-home Mom and loves it. I would have never guessed how fulfilled that makes her...and you can tell just from the way she talks. When I observe her with Rheya, I see all that is good in the world.

And Rheya ... she is a gem. She has this way of studying things very closely and I am absolutely sure that she looks into your soul when she looks at you. And when she smiles - I'm a goner then.

On the flip side, we also have a son, daughter-in-law and not-such-a-baby grandson. Our daughter-in-law is wonderful; she's smart, she's beautiful and she's a terrific mom. As our son would say often when he was five or six - I just know those things.

Our son has a lot going for him - kind, compassionate, loves his family - and has all the makings of an entrepreneur. I do know this - he writes beautifully and from the soul, is very good at what he does (manages an office in the local area) and doesn't settle for a sit-back-and-watch life.

And then there's Ethan. Ah Ethan. Enough energy in this almost-two-year-old to light up all of California and then some. He sees the possibilities of a simple large plastic bowl; in all of thirty seconds, it's a boat, a hat, a drum and a stool.

I have recently taken up quilting after many years. Why I left it, I will never know. The cutting, the sewing, the planning (no, that's not out of order...I just think differently than most people!) - it's all part of one big beautiful picture. I piece together one twelve-inch block and look at it and just marvel that I created this.

And now I think - how can I capture the love, the warmth, the strong feelings I have for my family - our daughter, son, their spouses and their beautiful children, into a quilt?

I believe I have found the answer - a quilt for each. These may take a long time - but that's okay. There was a time when I didn't think we would be this blessed to have such a wonderful family. God is more than good - He is awesome!

I saw a bumper sticker the other day (what else CAN you do other than read bumper stickers while you're waiting for that light to change!?!?!?) and it had quite an impact on me...

If you think it's great here - wait until you see what God has in store for you.


Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Just Another Day

1 August 2006

Yesterday morning I discovered an "extra" wrist bone. How long it's been there, I have no idea. After feeling numbness and tingly fingers, it was decided a visit to the doctor's office might be in order. The diagnosis: 'ganglion cyst'. In the scheme of things, it's a small problem - but bothersome. I have learned the following:

1. Rest means rest. That doesn't mean a couple miles of bicycle riding that evening.
2. Anti inflammatory pills are a wonder of nature - they work
3. Borrowing a pain pill from hubby's stock isn't necessarily a bad thing
4. Taking a day off from work to rest should mean just that - rest

So on that note, since typing doesn't fall in the category of resting - I will close for today.