Yesterday, dear husband & I ventured out into the rush of Christmas shoppers. Shopping this close to Christmas invigorates him; shopping this close to Christmas tips my scale of holiday cheer into oblivion. Plain and simple - it blows my overblown sense of control.
If I was truly organized, why am I out here with the Christmas crazies shopping this close to Christmas? Why am I wondering down the aisles of Books & Co with the great ideas that just formed? Where is that Pooh book I suddenly envision as THE perfect gift for several family members? Where were these ideas weeks ago?!?!?!? Why can't I enjoy the thrill of the hunt at the last minute?!?!?
I do know the answers - I'm just not willing to answer them publicly.
I do know this. Every year I sit down and write a long list of resolutions. They look great on paper. They appear to be achieveable. The number of them are usually under a hundred. None of them involve riding a camel across the Saraha. Inevitably, the list comes to surface at the end of the year - and if I'm lucky, I've managed to complete two of them. Probably because I knew when I wrote those two, they were easy enough to do in less than 24 hours. Organizationally, I excel at short-term "things". It's just those long-term goals and self-expectations I can't seem to conquer. And I still think about what I'd like to do when I grow up.
So here it is, the 23rd of December. I still have to go out today with the Christmas crazies for two more presents - maybe three. I still have to wrap what I've already bought. I still have to address the special Christmas cards I bought - resolution #5 written in Jan 06 (make every Christmas card) blown out of the water - and I have yet to make one batch of my dad's famous sugar cookie recipe.
Resolution #1 for 2007: There will be no more resolutions. When I feel like I'm going to tip the scale to the negativity side, I'll take my own advice and write down every blessing I've been given.
I think I like that.