Friday, September 18, 2009

To Borrow a Phrase....Ponderings....

While I sit here at Basics Cafe in Oshkosh WI (free wireless, folks!), I am wonder just why this trip to Oshkosh.

Granted - this is where my parents live. Granted - they are now getting to the age where it makes sense to downsize from their large home to perhaps a condo in a senior citizens community. Granted - it's been awhile since I last visited for more than 2 days. Granted - sis is still on vacation until Monday and it made sense to drive up now.

But still - what did I hope to accomplish? First - just a visit. The folks just aren't into the idea of flying....and driving is out of the question...not even as passengers.
So - if the mountain won't come get the idea.

Second - still just a visit. Perhaps it is time to put the house on the market. Perhaps it is time to them both to live where life is more manageable.

I don't know.

I am not my parents. I don't know if I would resent either one of my children visiting with ulterior motives.

Getting old - what a pondering that is. All the cliches in the world don't fix anything if you just don't accept the fact that we all get old. What I believe isn't necessarily going to be accepted by either parent.

I believe getting old is an honor.
I believe the older I get, the more wisdom God will give me to share with others.
I believe the older I get, the more safe I am in saying anything...after all, she is OLD so let her say what she will
I believe the older get, the more I have to give

Already I am looking back at my life so far....

I have a God who loves ME - me, of all people - who loves me so much He gave ME his one and only son to die for ME - and loves me no matter what
I have a husband who loves me unconditionally
I love my husband more than I could ever say
I have two children whom I am most proud of - which I do not say out loud enough
I have two additional children - their spouses - of whom I am most proud of
I have two grand children (photograph above) who I love so very much
I have two living parents who are entering the last years of their lives....and they have done an amazing job of teaching me me so many things
I have a brother who belongs to the "hall of saints" for so many things he has done
I have a sister who despite every obstacle put in her life has done so much with her life - and doesn't realize what a gem she really is
I have a mother-in-law whom I respect and admire
I miss my father-in-law who died last October - but boy,is he in a wonderful place now, dancing with the angels...Nahhh - he's fishing with the angels
I am now retired - not from life, from a career I never expected to have
I am a grandma who has been given the trust of her son & wife to watch over their son occasionally

And so I ponder and ponder and ponder.

Life goes on.

Sometimes we're simply a passenger on the train, looking out the window. Sometimes we're driving the train....and sometime we just get off the train and feel the sun on our faces and thank God for what He has done for us.

And in the meantime, I quilt.



drivenmg said...

Great ponders mom - hope you have a safe trip back. Dad is a little lost w/o you...and when i say a "little" i mean A LOT and when I "lost" i mean "Alzheimer" :-)

Kidding - hope the trip is turning out better than expected and glad to see you didn't plug into Gpa's internet service.

RileyD, nwJ said...

Love your writing and your pondering. You are incredible. Can't wait to read your formal 'trip report.'