Tuesday, May 01, 2007


During a phone conversation this afternoon, I used a very interesting word to describe one's lifestyle: "complicated". That description was not met with enthusiasm. Actually, it was met with resentment. It wasn't a word I searched for nor rehearsed nor do I know where it came from. It simply came out.

After I hung up, I thought for a long time as to why I used this word. Webster describes complicated as:

to combine especially in an involved or inextricable manner.

Further described as:

to make complex or difficult

Still no help. Complicated. Then it came to me - of course! That's exactly how I've heard coworkers describe our lives - mine and my husband's.

Our lives have been described as complicated. Complicated because we both work 40 hours a week - and then we operate a chess club in a building we bought years ago. Complicated because we will spend, on the average, a weekend a month hosting a weekend long chess tournament. Complicated because we are at the club on Friday evenings. Complicated because we're doing something other than eating at a different restaurant every Friday evening. Complicated because we lead a very different life.

I see couples sitting outside a coffee shop, idly sipping coffee and reading - or talking. And I think - oh yes, that could be me & my husband. But every evening? Every Friday? Every Saturday? No. But when it does happen, it's savored, treasured and it makes me smile.

So yes - perhaps you do lead a complicated life... but it's not to be viewed with resentment if I use that descriptive word. Yes, you lead a richly complicated and full life - a life that isn't boring nor staid.

So apologies if the word was met with unfavor. It was never meant to be used as an unfavorable word but as a compliment. Wish I knew that earlier!


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