I have come to the conclusion that I am not comfortable with change - at least not multiple changes.
In Dec 07 I retired after 32+ years. In Feb 08, Riley took a job in Iraq. Two monumental events and now months later I find myself becoming somewhat at odds with myself.
I worked in an office where there was a lot of communication. My entire day was spent talking - phone, email or good ole fashioned person-to-person (which seems to be a lost art - conversation between two people). I would have lunch a couple of times a month with friends or coworkers (oh yes, there is a difference there). At the end of the day, I would have my closest friend, my husband, to converse with on the way home and sometimes throughout the evening.
It's been a startling revelation to discover that my life is no longer one of spending time with others - and I've found that being alone 7/24 is difficult at times. It was enough to spend five days a week talking to people and now that's gone. It's startling to discover I never took the time to cultivate friends outside of the work environment. And this is from one who scoffed at workaholics. Not a comfortable discovery.
So now it's time to travel down a different road ..... one to making friends without benefit of common ground, such as in the work place. I don't suppose there's a place that makes road maps for situations such as this. I understand now why those who live alone put their energies into a pet. I understand now why those who live alone find themselves going to places where there are a lot of people. I understand a lot of things now. God sure has a way of making one think differently. With understanding comes wisdom, so says His word...and I am beginning to believe that from a whole different perspective.
Yes, I have many blessings. I have a sister who lives just about within a long arm's reach. I have a son and his family who live close by. I have a daughter and her family who lives within a ninety minute drive. I have a husband who will give up sleep just to talk to me via Skype or email. And there are two women, both former coworkers, I can count as friends, whom I continue to keep in touch. So, the blessings are there....and when I find that road, my blessings will continue to grow.
Now to figure out how to take that first step down that road....