Fanciful Quilts

Yesterday I blundered. While that in itself isn't unusual for me, it made a powerful impact on a coworker - and for that, it will take awhile for the apology to take root and grow. Several weeks ago, our team (a mighty group of four individuals) became adrift in a sea of bureaucracy. Our supervisor was promoted out of our lives. The five of us were quite a team - each with his/her own competencies that enabled us to do quite well - and we produced some spectacular programs and policies. Then the five became four. Management decided the four of us would rotate in leading the small team - if the plan suited. It did. My rotation was to be last; I'm much more comfortable in a support role - not in a leading role (although my dear husband would argue quite convincingly I am wrong). And here the blunder slowly took root. First the dynamics of the team of four need to be described. I'm completely and utterly retirement eligible - and have been since the 26th of February when I ...

Today I participated in a 5K walk/run - and I found that striving to come in first, second or third isn't necessary anymore. Today I walked with a friend - and we talked. She cautioned me twice to slow down - and after the 2nd mile, I really appreciated the caution. While it was hot & humid and others passed us by, I realized that a slower pace was a pleasure. I saw several geese flying overhead. I heard birds scolding one another - and prayed that they would be not plotting to cover either one of our heads with little white presents. When the wind blew gently by (at least once, I'm sure of it), it felt wonderful. And we talked and talked - and every so often, we just quietly enjoyed the walk. My friend became a grandmother about 5 months ago...and so now we have grandchildren in common. I learned more about her in that 50 minutes than all of the past six or more years we have spent together in the office. She's one of the most positive people I have ever encou...

Yesterday was Mother's Day. I phoned my mom, wishing her a Happy Mother's Day. I listened to her accounting of her day so far - and that my brother was taking her & dad out to an early dinner and also my brother's wife and mother-in-law would be joining them. It was good to listen to Mom. She was clearly pleased over her day. My sister called her later and wished her the same. My husband made a call to his mom - and I could tell from his end of the conversation, she was having a very good Sunday. This morning I came to the realization that I missed hearing from our two kids yesterday. They're married now & have their own family - and I hope daughter was honored on Mother's Day and that daughter-in-law was honored as well. Early this morning, I realized I must have erased messages on my cell phone as I noticed a missed call from our son. An email inquiry to my son let me know that the erased message was a Mother's Day call & I didn't get ...

Suspicious but not very suspicious cyst or lesion. Followup mammogram and ultrasound results from last Thursday reached our family doctor's desk. A followup ultrasound is to be done three to six months. After explaining to the doctor that six months wasn't going to be an option, an appointment was made for early August for the ultrasound. I'm not sure how to take this. Foreboding? Confident that all is well? Suspicious - but not very? This is just so very strange. I don't know if researching cysts and lesions is going to make me feel better or worse. The mind is going into overdrive ... of course it would. Dealing with hangnails sends me in a tizzy. Okay, God - this is in your hands. I sure would appreciate time going forward a little bit faster than normal, if that's okay, so we can just find out what's next. Angel45402

On Friday evening my husband & I attended a viewing in Elyria, Ohio. The funeral was to be held on Saturday - and it was for my husband's cousin, Lane Tollett. We watched many people file in, pay respects to the young man whom I believe is in heaven, hug his parents and move on. This young man was to be 31 years old today - and died in Iraq, fighting for his country. There are those who believe the war is wrong - and those who believe without our men fighting, we stand to lose the most precious commodity - freedom. I believe in the latter. This man whom I have never met believed in what he did ... and despite personal feelings about the war, was held in the highest regard by all. Flags flew at half mast in the entire small town of Elyria. The funeral was held in the high school Lane attended. Hundreds came - and hundreds wept. It was a moving ceremony with military honors and blessings from the Catholic priests. During the ceremony, I thought of what a rich life this young man ...

During a phone conversation this afternoon, I used a very interesting word to describe one's lifestyle: "complicated". That description was not met with enthusiasm. Actually, it was met with resentment. It wasn't a word I searched for nor rehearsed nor do I know where it came from. It simply came out. After I hung up, I thought for a long time as to why I used this word. Webster describes complicated as: to combine especially in an involved or inextricable manner. Further described as: to make complex or difficult Still no help. Complicated. Then it came to me - of course! That's exactly how I've heard coworkers describe our lives - mine and my husband's. Our lives have been described as complicated. Complicated because we both work 40 hours a week - and then we operate a chess club in a building we bought years ago. Complicated because we will spend, on the average, a weekend a month hosting a weekend long chess tournament. Complicated ...

On Friday, 27 April 2007 came the phone call, "after loooking at your mammogram, a couple tests need to be done right away". Words that strike terror into the staunchest of women. Okay - perhaps not the staunchest of women. Perhaps better written: words that strike terror into those women who suffer dramatically over a paper cut. At any rate, I'd have much preferred the call from the dentist to let me know "we're still waiting for you to come in for that root canal". Interestingly enough, I picked up on the "right away" theme. Those who work for doctors whose job it is to call patients and let them know additional tests are needed - practice this please: "I will not use the words 'right away' ever" before you make that call. And if you do happen to slip and use the 'right away' phrase - don't soft peddle it with "oh, sometimes these things just need a little extra test or two". It just doesn't...

The 10th of April 2007 marked the day of realization. I went to work as usual - only to experience pain like I've never experienced within an hour of getting ready to start the work day. Within the hour, my dear husband had me in the doctor's office. Blood was drawn, various poking in tender spots by the doctor, and I went home with an initial diagnosis of acute pancreatitis. Hours later, blood work revealed normal pancreas enzymes ... diagnosis changed to acute gastritis. After much research, I have discovered that the warranty on this body has expired. In younger days, dinner could be a bag of chips and dip - and a soda (NOT diet). Not an ounce was gained. The warranty held up the body quite well. Not so any more. Eating balanced meals, exercise & rest. Sounds simple enough. When one is not accustomed to self-discipline and an overwhelming desire for dessert before salad, it becomes more than a challenge. At the age of 55, I plan on living for another 50 years. ...

On Friday of last week I admitted defeat and called my dear husband to pick me up at work to take me home. The sinus attack finally took hold. The rest of Friday, all day Saturday and Sunday I battled the sinuses. Cold medicine, allergy medicine, Advil, Tylenol - if we had it, I took it. Sinus symptoms won, hands down. We live in the valley of hades here in Dayton Ohio. When the pollen count is high, it settles in the Miami Valley and plagues many allergy suffers. Word is that a radiologist can look at someone's lung xray and be able to foretell if they've ever lived in the Miami Valley. A better claim to fame would be preferred. I missed church today by sleeping most of the day. Husband brought home a new product - Allergy MD. We shall see if this really does the trick. If price is any indicator of effectiveness, it should work really well. So far it has wiped out the sinus headache - a real plus. Congestion - hasn't diminished it nor has the pain in both ear...

Yesterday was Saturday - and we spent a little over 5 hours with our grandson while mom & dad were working. Dad is an AF reservist and this was his working weekend; mom works at a childrens' store (always a great thing when you have a child of your own). The adventure of potty-training was ours on Saturday. This was supplemented by taking a walk with our lion sticks, examining dirty snow and watching grandson jump off the top of our car into grandpa's arms (not for the faint hearted - which was was cut short by grandma). Did I really do all these things when our children were growing up? Now that they're both adults with a child of their own, I have a difficult time remembering if we took walks, found sticks and were prepared to beat off the lions or touching snow several times to see if it really was dirty. I DO remember the days of potty-training; no parent ever forgets those days. The sense of accomplishment and joy on a child's face to do something we take for g...

On Monday the 28th of February I will be 55 years old. This is typed with such an air of finality. Fifty-five. Five decades plus five. Half a century plus five. Until today I didn't understand the statement "where did all the time go?" Now I do. Right now, right this minute it's not just a number. It's MY number. It represents so many things - and I just don't know which thing to choose. Depressing? Somewhat. Exhilarating? Oh yes - I'm still here to observe another birthday. Happy? Yes, again. I'm healthy - albeit overweight - and I have my family and I have my sister living just four floors down from us. Sad? Somewhat. No set of instructions came with this body. There should always be a set of instructions that God sends with each and every creation. At each stage of life, we should just instinctively know how we're supposed to feel. All of a sudden, I have wild urges to spike my hair, dye it some wild blond color and wear clothes a gypsy wouldn...

Yesterday early evening, daughter & son-in-law & baby girl showed up to surprise their dad - a most welcomed birthday hello. Granddaughter has the most expressive eyes we (dear husband & I) have ever seen. She's all of 15 months old now...and each time we see her, those eyes take in every detail...more so each time. It's amazing. She uses sign language - some one's innovative way to teach babies sign language caught hold with our daughter and so she taught the baby sign language. It is amazing to see this wonderful young lady use her hands to express words. I am picking up words slowly (very slowly) and plan on finding a sign language book soon. I took a 6 week course many years ago while working at a VA hospital. That was far too many years ago to remember much of anything. And I am betting that the sign language book I bought for the class has long since disappeared. Granddaughter warmed up to us in record time - small wonder it takes awhile since we...

Yesterday afternoon I babysat our grandson for a couple of hours. This was a good thing. Even though I'm family, faith & trust was placed in me that all would be well while the parents took time for themselves to enjoy a movie. I learned four truths while looking after this wonderful young man of 2 years plus. First, we all start out with an incredible energy level. Sadly, we seem to lose this energy level as time goes on. I know the body isn't capable of doing things when it's 80 years old as it did when it was 15 years old ... but I believe now that we let the world dictate what's proper and what's not. Two year old kids can constantly revolve their bodies in circles for a couple of minutes and laugh when they fall down. Thirty year old people wouldn't even think of spinning in circles. Okay, maybe alone but not in public. I taught grandson the penquin walk which he picked up immediately. Mom was cool - she mimicked son immediately. Dad - well, ...

The other day I spent some time talking and listening to a member of the family. She's had some rough times in the past year all of which can be classified as 'marital problems'. After 15 years of marriage, she called us - she didn't know what to do anymore and she wanted to move out. Long story short, she now lives in our apartment building. It's been over a year since the big move and sadly, no vast improvement on the part of her estranged husband. After listening to her laments, I realized that we all possess a very valuable weapon: the power of words. I heard over and over 'he never follows through'. Words can encourage, bring smiles, bring tears, plant seeds of doubt and if we're good enough with words & the listener is receptive - change the course of a life. We all have free will and we choose so many courses of action - all part of God's plan. No sense in blaming others for choices we make in life. The power of words can destr...

Yesterday evening, dear husband & I ventured out to a movie. The choices are pretty slim if you set certain standards for a movie: must have no blantant sex in it (okay if the married couple disappear off the screen and it's obvious what's going to happen - emphasis on the MARRIED part), no excessive swearing (nix the movies that think four letter words are adjectives), and no body parts flying all over the screen (nix the bloody horror films). That kind of narrows it down. For last night's movie venture, I chose Will Smith's latest movie "The Pursuit of Happyness". Based on a true story (which I intend to research sometime this week), it's an inspiring movie. Despite everything, this man achieved his dream - and never once thought of leaving his son behind. I've read numerous reviews of this movie - and not one review really captured the essence of it. You just have to see it for yourself. Angel45402

Yesterday, dear husband & I ventured out into the rush of Christmas shoppers. Shopping this close to Christmas invigorates him; shopping this close to Christmas tips my scale of holiday cheer into oblivion. Plain and simple - it blows my overblown sense of control. If I was truly organized, why am I out here with the Christmas crazies shopping this close to Christmas? Why am I wondering down the aisles of Books & Co with the great ideas that just formed? Where is that Pooh book I suddenly envision as THE perfect gift for several family members? Where were these ideas weeks ago?!?!?!? Why can't I enjoy the thrill of the hunt at the last minute?!?!? I do know the answers - I'm just not willing to answer them publicly. I do know this. Every year I sit down and write a long list of resolutions. They look great on paper. They appear to be achieveable. The number of them are usually under a hundred. None of them involve riding a camel across the Saraha. Inevitably, the list c...

Christmas is just around the corner - and I'm still running behind. I managed to pick up some sort of bug which started just this past Monday evening. I hosted a small office party on Tuesday - got through that, and yesterday morning woke up to some very unpleasant stomach virus symptoms. I took off yesterday from work - and slept most of the day. Today I feel human - and almost have that Christmas spirit, late as it is. Yes, still running behind but at least I feel like catching up with it. Monday I had played Mrs Claus for a special needs class in an elementary school. I'll have to do a post on that later. If you're ever feeling really down - visit a special needs class. It will either do one of two things - shake you up enough so that you'll never want to visit again or you'll count your blessings feverently and want to do something. I don't think anyone can just walk away without feeling something. I'm back to counting my blessings. ANGEL45402

Yesterday, sis & I drove to daughter's and son-in-law's (aka THE KIDS) new home and helped unpack a few boxes. The result: almost useable kitchen, clothes hung up granddaughter's walk in closet (she's a year old and has a walk-in closet. I foresee trouble here....), helped with a few loads of laundry and learned something very valuable. When one wants to feel needed, just ask them for help. I don't believe there is a better feeling in the world than knowing you're needed. The kids' home is beautifully located in a safe neighborhood. Lots of space and already I saw touches that say "this is our home". It was a joy being part of the 'moving in' process. Dear husband hasn't seen the home yet. I'm hoping we can drive up on Christmas Eve if the weather holds. Now both our children own homes - and what a nice feeling that is. While we enjoy apartment living now, we raised both of them in a lovely 4 bedroom home with a n...

Today I get to spend time with our daughter & granddaughter. Recently, daughter & son-in-law bought a home - their first. We weren't able to help with the actual move from leased townhouse to house so today sis & I will drive the 90 minutes or so and help organize the new home. Sunday I'll meet son at a local YMCA - he'll play basketball (church league) and I'll watch grandson. Mom is working - so I get the honor of entertaining the "little man", as dubbed by son. Family blessings, you bet. Dear husband will be directing a chess tournament today & tomorrow so the blessings extend solely to me. This bothers me a great deal. The hardest part of growing your own family is the reality that someday they will grow their family and family events now become their own family events. Getting together for birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas present more and more challenges. In some families, those challenges serve as an excuse and family celebrations n...

Once again, I got a nudge from the Holy Spirit. It was just this morning that I wrote about the elusive Christmas blues. While not overwhelming, it stuck there for awhile - despite listing my many blessings. I left for work this morning and immediately after going out the front lobby (we live in a terrific high rise apartment building - yes, we are proudly 'cave dwellers' as one of my coworkers pointed out), I was hit with tiny ice crystals. Yes, sigh, winter is here. As most cave dwellers do not have the luxury of an attached (or detached) garage, I had this feeling the car would require a light scraping of the ice off the all window surfaces. But not so! The windows, albeit frigid cold, were clear as could be. Terrific! I drive to work, snow flurries everywhere but not a slick spot to be found anywhere. Within an hour of settling down to work, reports of car accidents are coming in by the minute - as many as ten cars involved. Ah - but this is not the gentle remin...